Monday, June 23, 2014

There's no weirder animal than a youth pastor...

...except maybe his wife.

It's VBS week at our church. (I'll bet you never would have guessed!) Hubby, as youth pastor, is sort of under the auspices of the Children and Youth Commission...and that group is responsible for putting on Vacation Bible School every year.

That means Hubby usually is pretty heavily involved. He helps emcee the start and end every night, and he teaches the 5th grade class. (Handy, that. The 5th graders will be the next ones to graduate up to youth group in the fall when they start 6th grade.)

This year, I sort of got...well...not quite "voluntold." It was more "volunbegged." Given my choices between tech crew and helping teach 5th graders...Auntie J, video tech, at your service. For the hour or so between the end of the Start-up Stampede and the beginning of the Tail End (I kid you not; that's what they're called), I am blessedly left to my own devices.

Namely, working on the crib cover for my one-year-old niece Noodle (previously mentioned here as Na).

However, I had a question for Hubby, so I scooted over to his class, which is up here on the second floor near my digs in the sanctuary balcony.

He introduced me to his class (four girls and one boy), and advised the boy, J, that I was not to be messed with.

"That's right," I said with mock severity. "I'll kiss you."

That is, I should point out, my favorite threat for keeping preteen and junior high boys in line. I just haven't had cause to use it in awhile. Hubby laughed. "It's been a long time since I've heard you say that."

I asked him for a minute of his time, and it was the girls who started timing me! I looked at Zym, who goes to our church and knows me well enough. "I'll kiss you too!"

That stinker kept counting. Must be her father's influence.

I got what I needed, and by then, J had joined in the countdown. There was only one thing to do.

I smooched him on the cheek. Loudly.

I haven't lost my touch. He was on the floor in seconds, trying to wipe it off his cheek, using the carpet.

I grinned and leaned over him. "I promise I got my cootie shot this week."

He was still saying, "Ewwww!" when I left the room.


Saturday, June 21, 2014

Biology Lessons

Small Fry bounced into my room, where I've been resting most of the afternoon following the bear of a headache that I had last night.

"Mommy, guess what? Tomorrow, Ariel is going to have her babies!"

I smiled. "Really? How many babies?"

"A hundred!"

"That's a lot of babies!"

"Yeah. And guess what today is?"


"Ariel's birthday! Large Fry and I are gonna have a party."


"Ackshully, she's only going to have fihteen babies."


"No, Mommy. Fifteen."

"That's still a lot of babies."

"Yeah." Small nodded, wide eyed.

"Is she going to have them all at at once?" I asked as Small skipped for the door.

"No," she tossed over her shoulder. "She's gonna have them in a row."

Silly me.

Friday, June 13, 2014

Sometimes, it's hard to be an adult...

It's the last day of school. The kids were done at 11:15 this morning. And since the weekend holds both Father's Day and Poppa's birthday, the Fries and I have errands to run. So we took Daddy back yo work and headed out.

First stop, Rite Aid. Large needs a refill on her focus pill. I dropped off the script, and Medium announced that she'd found another lizard toy that she wanted, as a friend for her toy komodo dragon.

I said no.

This created a case of the grumps, which Medium excels at.

The grumps soon spread and I quickly changed my plan and headed for Wendy's. Lunch for everyone!

We sat down at a table and I asked the kids who would like to pray. Both Small and Medium raised their hands. In order to avoid further cranks, I gave Medium the nod.

"Dear God," she opined. "Thank you for the food. Amen." She paused. "And please help me to get over the thing I'm trying to get over."

I couldn't stop my chuckle...but at least I didn't laugh out loud.