Things No One Ever Told Me About Parenthood

~That just pulling into the driveway and seeing my kids happily playing in the yard is enough to move me to tears.

~That my heart would break when my kids are sick, wishing for all the world I could take the illness from them.

~That it's possible for the annoyance of repeated calling of my name to instantly disappear when I finally acknowledge the child attempting to get my attention...and my little girl grins at me and say, "I yuv yew!"

~That it's really hard to try to be straight-faced and accept the apology of your middlest when her tears over the discipline received also means that her nose has run, she's swiped her hand up her face, and she now has a booger in the middle of her forehead as she hiccup-ing-ly offers the apology.

~That what I really need is a gavel in my downstairs bath, because there are days that I'll dispense judgment from that room every time I need it.

~That I won't be able to read a book, cover to cover, without interruption...ever again.

~That I'll be lucky if I can read two pages, snuck in the bathroom, before the next crisis breaks out.

~That it's possible to have a heart so full you're surprised your chest hasn't exploded open.

~That watching nature vs. nurture is fascinating, as my middlest carefully pushes in all the buttons on her cup lid before drinking...just like I do.

~That snuggles in bed on Saturday mornings are some of the best times in the world...marvelous, although somewhat bittersweet, because I know that these times are fleeting.

~That kitties can be blamed for anything. Even the physically impossible.

~That I'd ever be willing to pay major bucks online, having scoured the Web, for little yellow duckies, because we keep losing them and my middlest can't go without her duckie. And do so three times. So far.

~That the complex mix of emotions could ever coexist--without reaching critical mass and causing me to explode--as I watched my oldest get on the bus for school that first day.

~That I would ever say some of the crazy stuff that's come out of my mouth.

~That I would keep a list of the hilarious mutilations of words that my kids say...just because they're so darn cute.

~That I would keep a record of all the great one-liners my kids have said.

~That I would ever, in a zillion years, have any of these experiences.