Adventures with Kimo

 Scene: My bedroom last night.

After a rough day, I decided to enjoy a late-night bowl of chocolate marshmallow ice cream. Now, I'm not sure if it was just because I had food in a bowl (particularly ice cream) that drew Kimo's interest, or because her person's bedroom door was shut and she couldn't get in, or both, but I had a 12-pound tuxedo land shark with a soul patch follow me from the kitchen all the way to the bedroom. 

I also made the mistake of trying to multi-task and do a bit of research into something before I posted something stupid online, inbetween bites. I had to abandon that task and focus solely on fending off Kimo, who had gotten so bold as to hook her paws over the edge of my bowl more than once. I found myself constantly parrying her moves while I ate. When I didn't relent, she resorted to bribery: she rubbed her head against my leg and then flopped dramatically at my feet, purring.

Nice try, kitty, but wilier cats have preceded you. You're cute, but I want my ice cream more than I want your love at the moment. (Heck, I'd even heavily discouraged the kids from touching the chocolate marshmallow earlier when they asked to have ice cream. I'm not sharing.)

Now, the rule in our house for more than twenty years has been that cats don't get to lick any plate, bowl, what-have-you unless it's on the floor. Keiki, bless her furry little heart, would sit there and stare at you like a little prairie dog, up on her back legs and everything, until you were done with your ice cream, and then her pre-rinse would leave the bowl almost spotlessly clean. She had an unmatched devotion to ice cream. Kimo, on the other hand...

I finished my ice cream and Kimo was now downright begging. You have something I want and I want it now. Fine. I set the bowl down on the floor and let her have at it. She jumped to the floor and attacked.

Five minutes later, I got up to go take my pills before bed, and I discovered that she'd knocked over a small pile of books to bury the bowl. One book was even in the bowl. I retrieved it. Of course, I couldn't even see where Kimo might've licked at the ice cream dregs.

Wonky beast.

Scene: The kitchen, not long ago.

Me: Your cat tried to eat my ice cream last night.

Middle: Aww.

Me: She wouldn't leave me alone. And then, when I put the bowl down on the floor for her, she maybe took a lick or two, decided she didn't like chocolate marshmallow, and said, "I reject your offering." Then she buried the bowl with books!

Middle (chuckling): That's her. She's so sassy. She's full of sass.

Two peas in a pod, they are.