Once Upon a Summer's Eve

Two nights ago...

Me: Please throw away the ice cream carton you left out and take out the kitchen trash.

Normally, kitchen trash is Oldest's job, but as she's recovering from some minor surgery, I've called an audible and passed it off.

Middle: Does it have to be tonight?

Me, staring at the kitchen trash that has been full and getting excessively fuller all day: Yes.

Middle: But I'll get kidnapped!

In our own yard? You're more likely to get mugged by a bunny.

Me: You can plead your case to your father.

Middle: But he's counting cases!

Hubby and Youngest are talking about today's active Covid numbers.

Middle ties off the bag, goes to lift it, and the bag rips open at the top, just below the drawstring ties. I fetch another cheap bag and call for Hubby to help.

Middle (shrieks): There's a thing on here! It just crawled out of the trash!

She looks to her father for help with the bug whose name she can't remember, oddly enough, in this moment of trepidation.

Middle: Get a thing! (gesticulates wildly)

Me: She means a paper towel.

Hubby gets one and tells her to just kill the house centipede that is now perching on the side of the trash can. Middle shrieks again but finally does the smooshing. Hubby helps her with the trash bag, gets it out of the can, and ties it securely.

Me: Now, take that out, unless your father will spare you--

Hubby: I'll take it out. I won't get kidnapped. Put a new bag in.

I grabbed a new bag (one of the last of the cheap ones we have, thankfully) and handed it to Middle for the trash can.

Hubby (outside): Ah, kidnappers!

Middle: See, that would've been me!

Y'know, I'm not entirely sure she was joking. I do know Hubby was.