Monday, September 29, 2008


Well, now we HAVE to rearrange the house.

I decided to call a good friend of mine after I finished lunch and while the Fries were still asleep, figuring I had a good forty minutes before anyone would be up. I knew we wouldn't talk that long, but at least it would be adult conversation instead of: "No! We don't take the cushions off the couch!" or "Do not pull your sister's hair!" or "No hitting!" or "You know you're not supposed to push the buttons on the TV!" or "Eat your lunch!" or "No no no no no! You do NOT 'drive the car' with the floor lamp!" (That's a new one.)

We'd been chatting for about fifteen minutes when I hear something I shouldn't be hearing.

"Auntie J!"

Two seconds later, Large Fry comes running pell-mell into the living room, proudly standing before me...

...when she's supposed to be sleeping...

...and still in her pack-n-play...

...and wearing her shirt.

ONLY her shirt.

No diaper. No pants.

Oh, and her toes appear to have turned green.

My eyes widened. "What are you doing up?" I hear my friend coughing on the other end of the line. His daughter was once this age (albeit a long time ago). "Oh, go ahead and laugh," I tell him. "All my other friends with kids laugh at me over stuff like this." He insists he's just coughing. Uh-huh. Riiiiiiight. "She's naked from the waist down, too."

"Auntie, where's my diaper?" Large Fry inquires with way too much innocence to be believed.

"I don't know where your diaper is." More coughing from my friend.

"Let's go find it!" Large Fry says with glee, and tears off up the stairs.

"Her toes are green," I tell him as I trail along after Large Fry. "At least, I think it's green."

"Not a good sign." I know him well enough to know he's stifling a chuckle.

"Especially since I think she got into my Sharpies for work."

"Here it is!" Large Fry shouts exultantly from the top of the stairs, holding up her diaper like a trophy.

"How did you get out of bed?" I ask, knowing I won't get an answer, just as I find her coloring treasure trove. Not green, but blue.

"Did you find the source of the green?" my friend asks.

"Blue, actually. She found my highlighter." He just laughs.

I herd my little nudist back towards the stairs, realizing we are in BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIG trouble here. She won't stay in bed now that she knows she can get out, and we can't have her getting into my office stuff. Marvelous. I hear whimpers from the twin Fries, and peek in. Crud. They're both awake too, and Small Fry took about an hour to settle down and go to sleep.

I get Large Fry downstairs and put her in training pants. No sense in putting the diaper back on her. I hang up with my friend and call Hubby as I go back up to get the twin Fries. "Your niece is blue," I say when he answers. I explain that she got herself out of bed and "cotored" all over her feet.

And leg.

And hands.

"Did she get a spanking?"

Um, no, dear. I was trying too hard to not laugh. (I think I failed miserably.) And given that she had nothing on below the waist, spanking would've been a little harsh, and by the time I got her into clothing, she would not understand why she's getting spanked.

Of course, now we just have to figure out HOW we're going to rearrange.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Quote of the Week

Said Tuesday:

"Don't smile. I don't like it when you smile when I'm touching you there." Hubby, to Small Fry, as he's changing her diaper.

Friday, September 12, 2008

The reason I've called you all here today is because I'm ready to name the murderer....

We've been on vacation this week, visiting Hubby's family and spending money at the local area fair. We drove up on Tuesday and invaded my mother-in-law's small one-bedroom apartment. My in-laws have all been just wonderful to the girls, and my MIL is tickled that all three of the Fries call her "Gramma."

The girls have been having a good time. Small Fry got scared by the sheep, begging Uncle Hubby to carry her. Medium Fry nearly pitched a fit when we made her leave the piggies. Medium Fry also tried feeding the goats, and got herself kissed for her kindness. Large Fry would talk about nothing but seeing the animals on the very short drive from MIL's to B/SIL's, which is really close to the fair (so we park there and walk down). Not that anything is all that far away in a town with a population of less than 1100....

We took all three of them on the local carousel last night, which happens to be the 3rd oldest in the country and has been beautifully restored. I sat with Large Fry, and Hubby stood between the twin Fries and took a couple of pictures of all of us on the carousel. Large Fry initially wanted her own horsie, but then got scared before we even started moving, and joined me on mine. Medium Fry wasn't all that thrilled during the ride, and wasn't quite sure about all this, but both Small and Large loved it, and Large Fry didn't want to get off.

Tomorrow we're going to take them over to where my MIL is dogsitting three Great Danes....