This quite literally just happened.
Middle: Hey, Mom? I've got a question. Can I eat cat food?
I gave her my most baleful glance.
Middle: Don't look at me that way.
I kept looking at her that way.
Middle: I'm just asking!
Me: Do not eat the cat food.
Middle: Well, it looks good...
Me [still looking mildly perturbed]: Cat food is not for you.
Middle: And I wondered if it would be okay for me to eat.
Me: It does not look good. Don't eat it.
Middle: But they can eat it.
Me: It's balanced for their systems, not yours. That kind of crude protein isn't good for you.
Middle: I didn't eat it!
At this point, I figured she protested too much. Pretty sure my expression said so.
Middle: Okay, I ate one piece, and it tasted like ham.
Cue my expression being more powerful than words.
Middle: It was an accident!
Me: It was not.
Middle: It was! It was an accident! My hand went like this--[she threw her arm up in the air next to her head]--and it just fell in my mouth.
There was nothing left to do here.
Me: Go to bed.
This kid.
