Friday, August 22, 2008


I meant to do this yesterday when I had the time, but, well, I just didn't have the time.

J was located fairly early yesterday morning and informed of the news. That was a weight off everyone's shoulders.

Funeral plans are proceeding; exactly when is not known, but probably not earlier than Monday. First, J and his wife and daughter (who are flying in from Seoul) have to get to Texas to begin with. Secondly, Uncle D is a veteran, and burial will be at the National Cemetery in Houston. Unlike Arlington, Houston only does 3 services per day, so they have to work around Houston's openings to figure out when to have the funeral.

My aunt is having a very hard time. Uncle D pretty much took care of everything, and now she's more than a little lost. A is helping to plan the funeral, and Mom is taking care of logical stuff like sorting through Uncle D's files (such as they are) and finding insurance information and all that stuff.

I had Large Fry call Mom just before naptime yesterday, and Mom said that her brother had looked quite different that morning than he did the day before. It was now obvious he was gone, despite the machines. And seeing the coolers waiting for the transplant harvesting team made the final goodbyes especially rough.

I had asked Mom what they'd determined about cause of death. What the neurologist suspects is that something caused Uncle D to collapse and fall. Precisely what is unknown. When he fell and hit his head, it was with enough force to fracture his skull. That trauma, combined with his bloodthinners, caused a cranial bleed. Between the pressure of the cranial bleed itself and the undoubted swelling caused by the blow to the head and subsequent fracture, a small aneurysm then ruptured.

When I handed Large Fry the phone so she could talk to Mom, she said hello, and then asked, "Gramma sad?"

I had told her that the night before. It was kind of amazing she remembered.

Since Large Fry was practically on my lap, I could hear Mom's response. Yes, she is sad, but talking to Large Fry makes her happy.

I had all three of the Fries talk to Mom at bedtime (as much as the two smaller ones will, which is mostly breathing and giggling and shoving the phone away). I need to make sure I have them call her again tonight.

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