Last night, Medium Fry was kinda helping me get things set up for dinner. As I was working, she was talking about how she didn't like homework sometimes.
Quelle surprise.
"Would I have homework in college?"
As previously stipulated here, Medium's subject changes are not entirely unexpected.
I chuckled. "Oh, yes, honey. You'll have homework in college."
"Then what will I do aftewr college?"
"Probably get a job, based on what you studied."
"Owr join the Awrmy."
Oy. I should not have been surprised, but I was, since XSIL is so infrequently discussed. But I knew immediately that this was the person who Medium was thinking of.
"Well, just because you don't get a job doesn't mean you have to join the Army."
My middle child should come with laser sights on her conversations, I'm telling you.
"Why did Mommy XSIL join the Awrmy?"
Gulp.
"I don't know, honey." Not entirely true, but not entirely false either...I know why she said she joined, and I know why I suspect she joined, and those two things do not match up.
"I know!"
She does? Um, we don't talk about why XSIL joined for obvious reasons.
"Because she wanted to get away fwrom us!"
Yeah.
We've never said that around ANY of the kids, again, for obvious reasons. We really try not to bad-mouth the bios around the kids. Really try. We save our venting for our friends. After the kids are asleep, or when they're not around.
Why is it these things always crop up when Daddy is gone?
You don't need any further proof that Medium is one smart cookie, do you?
Ouch. Those conversations are never fun, and yes, the little ones always know the best times to have them. Irish Woman has had many of those with Little Bear and Girlie Bear.
ReplyDeleteWhat we do when the kids ask about their mothers is to keep saying that she loves them, and that no-one but her knows why she does certain things, and that when they get older they can ask themselves. Not satisfying, but you don't want them to ever be able to look back in anger and say "They got between me and XXX".
Good luck.
That's usually what we do, or at least something like that. "Why doesn't Daddy S like it that we call you Daddy?" That one was fun. (Same kid, too.) Hubby explained that he had his guesses as to why that was, but since he wasn't sure, he had to say he didn't know. We try so very hard to not bad-mouth either Bro or XSIL around the kids. We want to be truthful, but we also tailor the truth to what they can accept and understand, to what's age-appropriate.
DeleteThe sad thing is, it's hard to fool kids. And my brother and his ex-wife have no one to blame but themselves for the nasty questions that will be coming their way in the future.