How to Tell that You're the Mom of Small Children

• You can't see your floor because of all the toys.
• You have a plastic 3-drawer dresser in your living room for jammies.
• Your cats hide upstairs most of the day to escape the kids.
• You shuffle as you walk across the floor, to avoid a full-weight stepping-on of any stray Legos.
• VeggieTales DVDs outnumber the movies that have a greater-than-G rating.
• You regularly find stuffed animals (which aren't yours) in your bed, left there by the mischievous imps who also reside in your house.
• You have the level of kitty noseprints and the level of small fingerprints in about the same place on the windows.
• Your freezer has chicken nuggets and tater tots.  And hotdogs. With more hotdogs in the fridge.
• You've ever had to shriek at a small person to go get a tissue and wipe the booger off the kitchen playset that she just wiped on there.  (Yes, today.)
• Your lingerie bag for laundry sees more fuzzy duckies and piggies than it does lingerie.  (Also today.)

All this, and lots of hugs and kisses from pint-sized people.

Not a bad deal, really.