Four

Four years ago, at this time, I was collapsing in bed, exhausted.

The day had started at 6 a.m., included twelve hours in a car, three screaming children, more tears than I had expected (of myself, not so much the kids), a pointless supper from Burger King, and absolute, utter relief when my dad announced he was going to stay another night.

I'd never been a mom before.

It had been years since I'd done any babysitting, and even that's really limited in timeframe.

This was--although, four years ago we didn't know it--for keeps.

Talk about being thrown into the deep end.

Medium, Large & Small: Easter 2012

No canoe.  No paddle.  And a fraying lifejacket.  That's about how it felt.

I have never been more exhausted.  I have never been so stressed.  I have never been so agog over how much laundry three small people can create...or how much my grocery budget increased...or how much fun it is to watch their personalities develop, watch them learn and grow, watch them love.

I honestly find it very hard to remember what life was like before our home and hearts were invaded by three little pipsqueaks who were so cute and so scared and so needy that it made my heart ache and want to explode with love, all at once, every time I looked at them.

It was quieter, I'm sure.

It was also much more boring.

If there's one thing life has not been in the last four years, it's boring.

The last four years have brought:

• birthday giggles
• the fun of Christmas with kids
• an epic court battle, that I'm still sometimes amazed we won
• many sleepless nights
• many nights of snuggles with little girls
• many mornings of snuggles, too
• four lost teeth
• more Veggie Tales than I thought I could stand
• phobias conquered
• a college-level immersion in all things Disney Princess
• severe frustrations
• tears
• a family vacation to Florida that we're all dying to repeat
• laughs
• memories of silly pronunciations as the girls learned new words and letters
• growth of all kinds
• more love than I could ever have imagined

Hubby & Fries, Dec. 2011

And I wouldn't trade it for anything.

I am beyond privileged to be the mommy to these little girls.  I love them more today than I did four years ago.

I am beyond blessed to have a husband who loves these little girls as his own, who claims them as his own, who treats them as his own.

I am also so incredibly in awe of the God who's responsible for orchestrating such wonder out of tragedy.

Four years.

A lifetime won't be enough.