Things I must tell my children tomorrow...

...without totally losing my cool.

• Thank you, Large and Medium, for voluntarily cleaning "the kitty room" (the utility room where the litter boxes are kept).  It did need to be cleaned up.
• Moving the half-bath trash can into the kitty room was probably smart, to keep it close as you worked.
• However, my frantic search for that trash can, when I needed it, was not appreciated.
• Our toilet paper is supposed to be "the ideal balance of softness and strength," but I'm quite sure its strength properties were designed for personal means.
• Toilet paper is not an acceptable cleaning rag.  Not for floors, anyway.
• Plastering toilet paper to the bottom of the sink bowl to get it wet (so it can be used to clean the kitty room floor) is never a good idea.
• Forgetting that you've left it there, so it can dry and adhere to the porcelain, is an even worse idea.
• Mommy discovering this is the worst of all, especially when she goes to free the sink and the drain stopper and finds that the bathroom trash can has also been liberated from the bathroom.
• Having to free the sink, stopper, and the mouth of the drain from partially-dried toilet paper made both Mommy and Myron very irritated.  
• And an irritated Myron makes Mommy even more on edge, which is bad since her nerves are already shot about this being the last week before school starts.
• If you've moved it out, please move the trash can back to the bathroom once you're done "cleaning."

I'm not entirely sure I'm going to be able to accomplish this.