"It's nawt scawee!"

Medium wanted to watch TV.  I told her she could pick something out of the DVD case that holds their movies and videos.

Unfortunately, also in there are a couple of our movies that aren't 100% small-kid friendly, from whatever trip we took last that I stuffed them in there for, just in case the adults wanted to watch something.

Medium:  Mommy, can I watch dis one?

Me:  I can't see which one you have.  Bring it here.

I'm making lunch in the kitchen while she chooses.

Medium: Dis one.

Eep.  It's Voyage of the Dawn Treader, the recent one.  Wonderful story.  Excellent movie. But not for a five-year-old.

Me: No, honey, you can't watch that one.  That's too old for you.

Medium: No, it's nawt!

Me: It's too scary.  You can't watch that one.

Medium: What does it have in it?

Me: Big, scary animals.  A lot of fighting.  Bad men.  Swords.  A ship.

Medium: Is dewre piwrates?

Me [thinking]:  Yeah, sort of.  They're bad men.

Medium:  I won't be scawred.

Me: You're too young to watch it.  Pick something else.

Medium:  I won't be scawred!

Me [sternly]: Pick something else.

Medium pouts but puts away that DVD and selects another.

Medium: Can I watch dis one?  Lawrge Fwy watched it!

Good golly.  She's holding up The Princess Bride.


Me: No!  And Large Fry has not watched that!

Medium:  Yes, she did, a lohwng time ago!

Me [quickly getting exasperated]: No!  That's too old for you.  It's too old for Large Fry!  She has not seen that!

Medium: She said she did.

Me: No.  She hasn't.  Pick something else.

Medium: But I want dis one!

Me:  No!  That's your answer!  Quit fighting me and pick something else!

Medium flounces back into the living room, does another disc exchange, and pops back into view with a different DVD.

Medium: Can I watch dis?

Whew.  She has The Princess Diaries 2.  I can live with that.

Me: Yes, you can watch that.

Medium:  Yay!