An Actual Conversation

Last year, I made a summer-wear decision: one-piece bathing suits are no longer as easily wrestled with, and are enough to drive you crazy in too-small public bathroom stalls.  Further, they may well be tools of de Debbil, and as such should now be avoided.  At least, for beach- and vacation-wear.

Enter the tankini.

And earlier this week, in anticipation of our upcoming vacation, I ordered another top to go with the pieces I'd picked up last fall (two bottoms and a top).  That package arrived today.

Now, I told you that, so I could tell you this.*

Hubby [taps box]: What's that?

Me: Bathing suit top.

Hubby: You're going to wear a bikini?

Me [opening package]: No.

Hubby: Then what?

Me: A tankini.

Hubby: Really?

Me: I got tired of messing with one-piece suits.

I pulled out the suit top to show him...and Large Fry, who was snuggling next to him on the couch.

Large Fry [as I'm heading out the door]: Mommy, are you going to change down here?

Me: No, I'm going to go upstairs to my room.

Large: Good. No one wants to see your nipples.

[And that was the last thing I heard, until about ten minutes ago.]

Hubby [obviously not thinking]: Well, I do.

Large: Why do you want to see her nipples?

Hubby [mentally scrambling]: Well, men are strange that way.

Large: Why? Mommy's are big.

Hubby: Yes, I know. [pause] But do me a favor; let's not talk about nipples with other people.  It's okay to talk about nipples with Mommy and Daddy...but not other people.

Large [lifts shirt]: Wanna see my nipples?

Hubby: No, I don't wanna see yours.

Large: Mine aren't grown up yet.  Someday they'll be grown up.

Hubby [probably barely controlling his laughter]: Yes...you're right.


*Oh, hey, Dad?  This one probably should've had the hernia mesh warning and the TMI warning.  Sorry.