Monday, August 13, 2012

My kingdom for a gavel.

This is one of those days when I desperately wish I had boys.

I have no illusions that I would have more bathroom privacy if I had boys.  I'm sure I'd have just as much then as I do now (which is, well, none).

But then there are days like today, when I really feel the need to have a black robe and a gavel hanging on the wall of the downstairs bath.

I kid you not, I went in there to make use of that room in the way in which it was originally designed (not just to hide in there, because I'll freely admit that I've done that before).  I was not in there 30 seconds before the screaming started.


There was not a wall close enough for me to bang my head against.

I ignored the shout.

Didn't last.

Medium approached to tattle first.  I waved her away after determining quickly that this wasn't a real issue.

Small was next.  "Lawrge won't let me sit onna cowch!  She blocked me wif da clipboawrd!"

Her indignance remained until I sighed and shouted up the stairs, "Large, let your sister sit on the couch."

Small was down less than thirty seconds later.  Oh, I couldn't wait to hear what the problem was now.

"Lawrge won't let me sing!"

"She was singing a bad song!" Large shouted indignantly from upstairs.

It was a Migraine Salute moment.

I looked at Small Fry.  "What bad song were you singing?"

Small shrugged.

"Large Fry! Come here!" I shouted.

When I didn't hear her coming down the stairs from the den in a quick enough fashion, I shouted for her again.

I asked her why she was not wanting her sister on the couch.  Large said, "She was singing her bad song!"

I looked back at Small Fry.  "What bad song were you singing?"

I got another shrug for my troubles, so I turned to Large Fry.  "What bad song was she singing?"

"I don't know it!"

"Tell me the words."

"I don't know it."

"Then it can't be that bad a song."  I gestured with my hands.  "Go."

From out in the toy room, I heard Medium ask Small, "Wewre you singing Twinkle, Twinkle, Littewl Bat?"

I didn't hear Small's response, but I did hear Medium start singing.

Twinkle, twinkle, little bat.
   Wonder where the potty's at?
   Straight ahead, or to the right?
   Caves are very dark at night.
   Little bat, why'd you frown?
   Do you tinkle upside down? ♪

Yes, these are the things my children learned in preschool.


  1. I know it's exasperating, but that's pretty darned cute right there.

    1. It's hilarious today. Yesterday? Not so much.

      My dad said he laughed outright several times as he read this one. I think I forgot to put a HYHM warning on this one (Hold Yer Hernia Mesh).


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